the weight of recommending
A friend, an acquaintance, a colleague, whoever, comes up to you and says “You watch Indian films, right? Can you recommend one for me?”
Not to be taken lightly, right? You hold in your hands the fate of someone’s relationship with an entire subcontinent of cinema. If you choose wisely, you’ve made a new friend or strengthened a bond - at the least have a new film-watching companion. But if it goes wrong, you find yourself justifying pleather pants or defending Kareena Kapoor or assuring someone that they need not worry too hard about why om has the all the resonance of the living universe and just to trust that it does or encouraging someone to just sit tight while we take a momentary detour to Switzerland because we’ll get back to Mumbai in just a minute. It’s even worse if you’re present for the watching, witnessing every little reaction, trying to figure out when you should pipe up to explain something or acknowledge ridiculousness - or trying to discern whether you’ll get chucked out of the room if you dance along to your favorite picturization.
You’re responsible.
Possible outcomes:
- they spend the entire film with their nose scrunched up, bewildered and lost
- they spend the first half of the film with their nose scrunched up, bewildered and lost, and the second half completely unengaged and/or unhappy
- they hate it from the get-go
- they spend the first half of the film with their nose scrunched up, bewildered and lost, and the second half increasingly interested and/or taken in, maybe dancing a little bit in their seat
- they’re intrigued and want to see more
- and the holy grail, the convert, the kindred spirit, who turns to you, eyes wide, and says “this is genius.”
Here and there in life there have been things that I feel really strongly about other people getting excited about - the Beatles, Bridget Jones’s Diary (the book), my local pancake house - and my love of Hindi cinema does not allow me to be casual about acquainting others with it. I can’t help but take the whole process way too seriously. Sometimes I wonder if what I’m really worried about is that a rejection of Bollywood is a rejection of me, even though I know better, even though I do in fact realize that Indian movies couldn’t possibly be everybody’s cup of tea - universal themes and classic plot elements notwithstanding.
But with most people there’s a potential that they’ll like at least one or two films, or one or two things in any given film, that something in the masala will grab them, and it’s up to you to come up with just the right selection. But more often than not, even knowing the possibility for a good fit is out there, I still find myself frozen by my genuine hope that people will like what I choose for them.
After a year or so of recommending things to new watchers, I’m bored with Lagaan and Dil Chahta Hai, solid and reliable as they are. I’ve just had a request from one of my closest friends to recommend something for her husband, and I have no idea what to do. I quizzed her on his movie tastes, hoping for a clue, but I’m unable to translate his other likes and general personality into a film title. How do you all do it? How do you choose? What has gone over like gangbusters, and what has tanked miserably? Do you ever recommend titles or stars that you yourself don’t really like if you think the viewer will respond to them? Do you give disclaimers and explanations - “I know three hours seems long, but the musical numbers take up a good fourth of that” - or just hand them a DVD and hope for the best?
November 19th, 2006 at 8:33 am
nameste beth,
interesting dilemma…’to recommend or not to recommend’…
i think recommendations are bridges through which we walk together…
‘trust-love-and openness’are the keys/steps…
yes i think i recommend ‘title’and ’stars’sometimes which are not my favourites,but in general they are ‘popular’ so as to develop a taste in friends heart,may be s/he takes own decision and later they help in taking decisions…i think its like developing a community for mutual benefits…
but very true i get confused too…we share the dilemma beth…
happy bolly blogging,
cheers
jhaji.
November 20th, 2006 at 1:15 am
I love this post. And you tackle a very important question. I had my share of successes and failures in recommending people bollywood fare. I think we should make a list (I love lists) with pro and con comments for every film…
November 21st, 2006 at 2:32 am
This post is so me! I always spend ages worrying about what to recommend when I’m trying to get a friend interested in something I like (sadly, no one’s asked me to recommend any Bollywood movies so far) and then feel all disappointed and rejected if they don’t like it.
I also used to think Dil Chahta Hai would be one of the safest choices for a recommendation, but after lending it to a friend who didn’t even make it past the first hour, then said it was boring (?!), I really don’t know any more. I’d say we definitely need a list, like babasko suggested!
November 21st, 2006 at 6:53 am
nameste beth,
i second maja and babasko
making a list will be a great fun…
cheers
jhaji.
November 27th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
I agree that recommending and introducing and all this business is a huge pain. I can’t help but take it way too seriously in every way. There are so many pitfalls to consider..
Basically, in my experience, you want a film that
a) impresses its viewer - makes them think “Wow, Indian cinema can be so good!”
b) piques their curiosity in that “I want to see more!”-way, and doesn’t leave them satisfied, thinking “Okay, now I’ve seen everything Indian cinema has to offer!”
c) isn’t too Western, so they’ll think, “That was just like Hollywood, only not in English!”
d) isn’t ‘too Indian’, thus making them go “WTF?!” because as foreigners and newbies to Indian cinema, they just don’t get some things about the way Indian films tell a story.
And sadly some people are just awfully vague about what they want in a film, so it’s difficult to consider even after asking them about their possible likes. I did a post in my Livejournal once with some movie recommendations, describing the films, which I nowadays sometimes link online friends to, if they ask (and also mention which films would be most available to them).
December 1st, 2006 at 7:37 am
one question is: should i introduce in something known as bollywood - masala movie with lots of romantic moments - or should i introduce in the bollywood (or indian cinema) which fits not in the common genre? should i show k3g or black? maine gandhi ko nahin mara or should i show ddlj? has anybody first to know common bollywood or should i start with independent, less common one?
and how much is indian cinema to be introduced?
more questions than answers
March 7th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
[…] Ah, the infamous question. Yearned for and dreaded at the same time. Yearned for because I love talking about Bollywood, but dreaded because…well, I think Beth Watkins of the wonderful blog Beth Loves Bollywood put it best when she posted this on Bollywoodbloggers.com: You hold in your hands the fate of someone’s relationship with an entire subcontinent of cinema. If you choose wisely, you’ve made a new friend or strengthened a bond - at the least have a new film-watching companion. But if it goes wrong, you find yourself justifying pleather pants or defending Kareena Kapoor or assuring someone that they need not worry too hard about why om has the all the resonance of the living universe and just to trust that it does or encouraging someone to just sit tight while we take a momentary detour to Switzerland because we’ll get back to Mumbai in just a minute. It’s even worse if you’re present for the watching, witnessing every little reaction, trying to figure out when you should pipe up to explain something or acknowledge ridiculousness - or trying to discern whether you’ll get chucked out of the room if you dance along to your favorite picturization. […]
August 30th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Here\’s another great response to the question by Greta at memsaabstory.wordpress.com
September 11th, 2007 at 1:23 am
This isn’t quite the same thing, but it’s a great list of movies that the author thinks will make a positive impression on people who are skeptical about Hindi films: http://sakshijuneja.com/blog/2007/09/06/bollywood-for-non-believers/
December 31st, 2007 at 5:16 am
Here’s another one from Sanni of “…so they dance” (http://sotheydance.blogspot.com/)
http://fivil.livejournal.com/200637.html
February 19th, 2008 at 5:32 am
My long-lost kindred spirit Post-Punk Cinema Club lists some recommendations…
klick